Before I came to faith in Christ my life was plagued by an intense commitment to earn accolades and praise from the world, and more specifically, my parents and my teachers. I came to faith when I was about 7 or so and received Christ in Sunday School. At that age the thought of a God that loved little children, yellow, black or white appealed to me. I didn’t understand all the doctrines of Christianity but compared to striving to be the best daughter that didn’t do anything wrong, what Christ was offering seemed so much better. Over the years as a child and young teenager, I remember going to multiple altar calls whenever I felt plagued by my sin. I didn’t understand that Christ’s death on the cross, was complete and once and for all, saved me. God brought me to understanding that by accepting Him as Christ and Lord, His Holy Spirit was doing a gradual work in my life.
As I’ve matured more in my faith in Christ as an adult, I’ve realized that I can lean on and trust in Christ and don’t have to earn my salvation. However, though it was easy to rely on God to take me through tests in college, I struggled with understanding what a relationship with God was supposed to look like. I still wanted the world and what it offered, recognition and popularity, but I also wanted the peace that a relationship with Christ brought. My faith grew and I learned more about God in medical school and residency. I was also surrounded by a body of believers from my local church in Durham, NC, where my faith and knowledge of Christ grew deeper. In times when the weight of medical training seemed overwhelming, God remained faithful and revealed attributes of Himself, as the keeper and the healer. Whenever I felt like I was underperforming or extremely exhausted after a grueling day at work, God carried me through. He also reminded me that I was already accepted as His child because of Christ’s work on the cross and not by my performance or work. The pursuit of a career in medicine was not to become an idol but a means to give Him glory.